
(h/t to Mr. Irrelevant on this one)
If you were curious, here is the first installment of Ovechkin on The Onion.
Everything Washington Capitals.

While out on the ice, Forward David Steckel knows his role: forecheck, take win face-offs, and play solid defense. But this is the playoffs and his role of being a third line center has expanded with every game he’s played.